Here’s your review polished into your signature “California-meets-New-York-letter” style — clean, conversational, and authentic, while keeping all your original observations and humor intact:
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Home2 Suites – Statesboro, Georgia
We stayed here while visiting friends for a wedding, and overall, it was a great stay. The room was perfectly clean and well maintained—exactly what you hope for after a long drive. They did forget to restock the shampoo before we arrived, but honestly, little things like that can happen anywhere. Other than that, the room was impeccable.
Now, the breakfast… that was a bit of an adventure. It felt like someone designed the layout after a few too many mimosas. You’d stand in front of the orange juice machine, glass in hand—except the glasses were all the way on the other side of the buffet. Then you’d find drawers labeled “utensils,” only to open them and discover they were empty, while the actual silverware was hiding in random dispensers around the room.
Once you figured out the system (which felt like solving a breakfast escape room), the food itself was… visually challenged. But the waffles? Absolutely stellar. And the fact that they offered both milk and soy milk in the fridge was a classy touch—A+ for that. Tea selection, on the other hand, was a bit of a letdown.
The staff, though, were warm, friendly, and genuinely helpful—exactly the kind of Southern hospitality you hope for in Statesboro.
Would I stay here again? Bringing my own tea