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8 a.m. — The call of the Kentucky Derby bugle startles you awake. You momentarily resent how clever you thought it would be when you changed your alarm tone last night, but then you remember — it’s Derby Day!

Steve Buttleman, the official bugler of Churchill Downs and the Kentucky Derby, sounds the call. Courtesy of Kentucky National Guard Public Affairs Office.

Steve Buttleman, the official bugler of Churchill Downs and the Kentucky Derby, sounds the call. Courtesy of Kentucky National Guard Public Affairs Office.

 8:01 — You spring out of bed and dawn your meticulously planned outfit, topping it off with the overwhelmingly large Derby hat you bought on sale at the antique store. You’ll fit in just fine.

Courtesy of www.stylist.com.

Courtesy of www.stylist.com.

9 a.m. — You grab breakfast with your fellow Derby goers, choosing something with plenty of carbs to soak up all the mint juleps you’ll be downing later. You choose Highland Mornings, a diner in the hip Highlands neighborhood, because it’s on the opposite end of town as Churchill Downs and cheap.

Courtesy of Osseous.

Courtesy of Osseous.

10:30 a.m. — Swing by a Derby party nearChurchill Downs and wash down that breakfast with some Derby delicacies. Derby pie and bourbon balls are a must.

Derby pie. Courtesy of Matthew Hurst.

Derby pie. Courtesy of Matthew Hurst.

12 p.m. — Time to head to Churchill Downs. You stop by and pay homage to Barbaro’s remains on your way inside.

The remains of Barbaro, a thoroughbred that raced in the Derby, are buried near the entrance to Churchill Downs. Courtesy of Ally Marotti.

The remains of Barbaro, a thoroughbred that raced in the Derby, are buried near the entrance to Churchill Downs. Courtesy of Ally Marotti.

12:10 p.m. — Place your bets. Since you really don’t know anything about horse racing, you put your money on the one with the cutest name. It’s such a rush.

Courtesy of Bev Wagner.

Courtesy of Bev Wagner.

12:20 p.m. — You order your first mint julep of the day to take the edge off of fighting the crowds.

Courtesy of Jules Morgan.

Courtesy of Jules Morgan.

12:30 p.m. — You stake your claim on a spot on the lawn. You knocked off some hats and spilled some drinks on your way there, butyou paid $35 for this ticket, by golly, and you deserve a good view.

Courtesy of James Cridland.

Courtesy of James Cridland.

12:33 p.m. — You accept the fact that you’ll be watching the whole thing on the megatron anyway, and settle in for some more mint juleps while you wait. 

Courtesy of Kyle Simourd.

Courtesy of Kyle Simourd.

4 p.m. — The Derby begins!

Courtesy of Rennett Stowe.

Courtesy of Rennett Stowe.

4:02 p.m. — It’s over.

 

Courtesy of PandamicPhoto.com.

Courtesy of PandamicPhoto.com.

4:04 p.m. — It takes you another two minutes to realize your horse lost.

Courtesy of Footylogue.com.

Courtesy of Footylogue.com.

4:06 — And another two minutes to remember you didn’t really care.

Courtesy of Totalprosports.com.

Courtesy of Totalprosports.com.

Tagged: City, Events, Festivals, Last minute travel, Tips & advice

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