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Welcome to your one-stop shop for the best of America’s non-musical festivals. (Don’t worry, we’ve got plenty of cheap music festival tickets for you anyway.)

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Eeyore’s Birthday Party: Austin, Texas

When: April 30, 2016

Why: This one-day celebration dedicated to pop culture’s most depressed cartoon has been raging once a year since the 1960s. It also serves as a fundraiser to various local nonprofits, making the family-friendly drum circles, games, food and drinks that much more enjoyable. There’s also the annual maypole and real-live donkey, a cartoon Eeyore stand-in. But make sure to take a good, hard look in your closet (or collection of Halloween costumes) before heading out: There are prizes for the best costumes.

Lightening in a Bottle: Bradley, California

When: May 25–30, 2016

Why: This festival offers a holistic, ‘transformative’ experience that combines music, interactive art installations, performers and yoga to create an atmosphere that’s as free and accepting as that of Burning Man. Take a personal-growth workshop to the tune of a nearby electronic music show or sip tea with soon-to-be-friends on some soft Persian rugs.

Milwaukee Highland Games: Wauwatosa, Wisconsin

When: June 4, 2016

Why: According to this festival’s homepage, you’ll be treated to spectacular bagpipe bands, working sheepdogs in action, unique athletic events and great Scottish food on the outskirts of Milwaukee. So take in the Highland dance competition and heavy stone putt events while chowing down. And trying to avoid running into any errant sheep that aren’t inclined to be herded.

Ribfest Chicago

When: June 10-12, 2016

Why: Welcome to the festival of messy fingers. Do not sacrifice your favorite shirt to Ribest, and show up ready to eat. A lot. This massive, Chicago-style block party offers up a down-home environment despite its size—there are live bands, a kids’ playground, and more smoky, sticky, fall-off-the-bone ribs than you can count (but really, who’s counting?).

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Summer Feast: Sun Prairie, Wisconsin

When: June 24–26, 2016

Why: Eat your heart out. Literally. This fest serves up a different culinary theme each day, two of which are free. The first is Fiery Foods, a celebration of all things spicy. Next, is the Bacon, Brew & BBQ Festival (requires a ticket, but it’s all-you-can-eat). Finally, there’s the World Food Festival, where you can sample goods from Africa, Japan, India and plenty of other countries. You can also take a free or cheap cooking class onsite.

International Folk Art Market: Santa Fe, New Mexico

When: July 8–10, 2016

Why: This is the country’s largest folk-art festival, which attracts roughly 180 artists from around the world to hawk their goods at Museum Hill. These artists are more carefully curated than it may sound, though—most of the artisans create goods that represent their country’s history and identity, including hand-knotted Moroccan carpets, embroidered clothing from Afghanistan and hand-carved and –painted marionettes from Myanmar.

Artscape: Baltimore, Maryland

When: July 15–17, 2016

Why: Welcome to America’s biggest free arts festival. This year’s theme is ‘Space: Explore What’s Out There!’, which artists, fashion designers, performers and craftspeople will all explore with their craft. And you can pick up some tasty international eats as you meander between artists’ booths and pop-up theaters.

Lumberjack World Championships: Hayward, Wisconsin

When: July 28–30, 2016

Why: Oh, yes. Come to Hayward to see hopefully bearded men and (beardless) women compete in some of the wackiest sports around—among them, logrolling, sawing, the boom run and chopping, which is harder than it sounds. For the Springboard Chop, for instance, a lumberjack must climb nine feet up a marked tree, stand on a springboard stuck in the trunk, and chop it down.

Satchmo SummerFest: New Orleans, Louisiana

When: August 4–7, 2016

Why: It doesn’t get much more iconic than NOLA native Satchmo, aka Louis Armstrong. Dig into regional specialties like jambalaya and crab cakes as you celebrate the man’s legend with outdoor concerts and a jazz mass. And since this is New Orleans, you’ll need a mango daiquiri or margarita to go with that po’boy.

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Beloved Festival: Tidewater, Oregon

When: August 12­–15, 2016

Why: Okay, so yes, this technically is a music festival. But it’s not like any kind you’ve seen before—billed as a journey to self-realization and connectedness, this camping festival offers a single stage, where acts ranging from ancient music to Middle Eastern chants (and yes, maybe some dance music). But there’s also an art gallery, a market and yoga classes. Past years’ artists include Krishna Das and Les Nubians.

Ghirardelli Chocolate Festival: San Francisco, California

When: September 10–11, 2016

Why: What could be better than stuffing your face with chocolate for a good cause? Support Project Open Hand by sampling local wines, all kinds of gourmet desserts, learning how chocolate is made and watching chefs do their magic.

Festival of the Dead: Salem, Massachusetts

When: October 1 to November 2, 2016

Why: Explore the paranormal in America’s spookiest town. Speak to dead ones through psychic mediums, join a magic circle, and meet high priestesses and Hoodoo practitioners during this month-long event. You can also head to the Salem Witches’ Halloween Ball for a night of dancing, music, food and, of course, rituals.

Harry Potter Festival: Chestnut Hill, Philadelphia

When: October 21-22, 2016

Why: Muggles rejoice! The wizarding world comes alive in Chestnut Hill, albeit in a very American way: Think pub crawls, character lookalikes, horcrux scavenger hunts and, somehow, a Quidditch tournament.

Voodoo Music & Art Experience: New Orleans, Louisiana

When: October 28–30, 2016

Why: Why yes, you are noticing a trend here: New Orleans is excellent at festivals. While food isn’t exactly the focus of this one, there are tons of vendors selling some seriously tasty grub. Otherwise, enjoy the local crafts and wares, art and music that takes over City Park. And plan to stay out late—the after parties basically rage on until the next morning’s events begin.

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Oak Street Po’ Boy Festival: New Orleans, Louisiana

When: November 2016

Why: New Orleans tradition is darn tasty. Sure, you can get more than the eponymous sandwich here, but these humble hoagies are worth the hype. In past years, local eateries have churned out edible offerings like the smoked BBQ brisket po’boys, slow-roasted duck po’boys with apple slaw, fried Maine lobster po’boys and so, so much more.

National Cowboy Poetry Gathering: Elko, Nevada

When: January 30–February 4, 2017

Why: Mercifully, this one’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s just too bad that you’ll have to wait until next winter to hear real, time-worn cowboys croon their sentimental sonnets. Besides the thousands of folks who flock here to recite poetry, this festival also attracts thanks to its musical performances, art and open mics. The attendees are notoriously friendly, too.

Calle Ocho Festival: Miami, Florida

When: March 2017

Why: It’s only fitting that one of the country’s largest Hispanic streetfests takes place on Miami’s legendary 8th Street, or Calle Ocho, in the Little Havana district. It’s also part(y) of the massive Carnaval Miami. Come celebrate multiculturalism by salsa dancing in the street, watching traditional performances, checking out folk art and—you guessed it—eating. This gloriously unfussy street fest serves up food and drinks from plenty of local restaurants to refuel partygoers tired from their conga lines and no-holds-barred Latin dancing.

Frozen Dead Guy Days: Nederland, Colorado

When: March 2017

Why: Let’s end this list with a bang, shall we? This goofily morbid event celebrates a quirky local instance from 1989 involving cryogenic freezing that we won’t get into here. But the festival it spawned is as wacky as thename suggests. Expect frozen salmon tosses, a hearse parade, coffin races and a whole host of other macabre events—all naturally paired with beer—high up in the Rocky Mountains.

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Tagged: California, City, Festivals, Food & drink, Music

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